Travels tip: plan the first three days

In honor of all the upcoming Thanksgiving travel, I offer a bit of my travel wisdom, earned the hard way. May your own road trip be less bumpy.

For every trip, focus on the first three days. They are generally filled with a bit more whining, neediness, grouchiness and lack of patience. The uncertainty of change does that to little people (and big people alike). The rhythm of their routine and the certainly of their little world make them feel safe and comfortable, resulting in a calm child who is able to listen and respond.

In your new local, set up a regular routine to mimic home. Find regular places for everyday routines to help anchor your small people. Put toothbrushes in a place kids can find, shoes and coats in a place they can reach and talk about the new locations so they can hear where everything goes. As my children have grown, we work together to find "the shoe home" in a hotel. Creating and honoring the order amidst the changes helps to calm the chaos. You are also helping to make them better travelers.

By being mindful of this need for extra time, you can stack your plans accordingly. Allow for a smidgen of extra cuddle time in your schedule and be prepared for a lots of deep breathes and redirection time. Knowing what is coming can help you brace yourself for a couple of bad days knowing the light is coming. I also find that day two can be worse than day one with day three being milder(read=nonlinear progression). This is assuming sleep is happening; extra sleep helps this flow. A sleep deficit can continue the whiney and unhappy behavior.

With this rule in mind on a short trip, I try to have shorter outings and expect some plans get scrapped due to irritable travelers. On a longer trip, I have a looser schedule for the first few days, knowing I can pack more into later days.

Don't forget this rule applies to returning to home and settling back into your regular rhythm.

"I'm guessing it's again my turn to win some or learn some" Jason Mraz, I'm yours

The countdown begins

I thought months ago, or perhaps I should say, my ego, decided July would be a good time to move. Just enough time to enjoy a bit of San Francisco summer and say goodbye to friends, and just enough time to settle before child number two's birthday, August 1 and enjoy rest of summer. Hello ego, didn't you get the memo... After finding just the right house and getting into contract, I watched all the timelines slide into oblivion. Now we sit, well past the 45 day close still in San Francisco and only a vague estimation of when the move might really happen. I've relaxed into uncertainly and breathed into what will be. Maybe that was the lesson this time. I have two more weeks of shuffling papers and sorting out old shampoo before I put the final items into boxes. The added bonus I must remember to add back into my so called regular life post move and sans moving is the purge. Not the spring cleaning (or in our house chinese new year) type of purge resulting in a tidy house filled with cupboards of good intentions. I mean the purging of all that is not serving you now. Not keep those thing you might want or need or have a random use for some day. Let it go to someone else who needs it. Maybe it all lies in committing to having less. Still contemplating that one. I'm all planning and details while running the summer camp program for my three. Daily adventures are a must. Bonus if we can squeeze in a last visit from an old friend. I get the feeling the small people in the house are done saying goodbye to everyone and maybe there is a lesson for us all. In my family, when we leave my grandparent's farm, after much photos taking, hugs and chats, we wave to each other in the driveway and out into the road(well really it's a highway) until no one can see each other. Maybe that's what we are doing now, soaking in the last ounce. Or perhaps the little people think it just a long game of moving and they are ready to play house. Maybe we all need to work on our patience... Deep cleansing breaths all around as we move forward in the cue while waiting our turn

The beginning... Well, that is a slippery slope, really where to begin? My first birthday, too much. Seeing my life interwoven and the dots connected to create this convergence of where we are now, the lines sometimes blur on the very beginning. But as a storyteller, I realize we should start somewhere. July last year, while I was on a healing spiritual journey, that seemed stumbled upon and I know now to have been written in the stars, I visited the San Diego area and left feeling the call of the universe. "Hello, God. Nice to hear from you. You say we are moving...don't you know I already have a life, a house, friends, family, school I love." Suffice to say, I laughed it off as a funny idea. I did mentioned it to a few people. Now, jet forward 6 months to January of this year, my husband and I take our first post-kid vacation alone, where enjoy a week long spiritual retreat. My head opens up a bit more and I watch my husband heart crack open and begin to grow back anew. During this time, I get the call again and ask my husband, "did you hear that honey?" or maybe I'm just crazy.  I was hoping for crazy. Hubby says you are a bit crazy and he hears it too. We check out the local school and I secretly hope it's someone else's time. Maybe it's next year or when the kids are in college or when we retire... With my newly opened mind, we decide to investigate this whole idea of moving from a place of detachment and follow the yes while looking for the no. School looks good. After we come home all aglow, I even dare to tell my mom who thinks I lost my mind. I tell my school, "we might not be reenrolling" and I feel the synchronicity whispering to me, "See that wasn't so hard.".  Next step, we visited the area with the kids and interviewed the school. Yes,Yes.Yes! It was then it dawned on me, that I had finished some work I had come here to do and the universe has something all cued up for me a little south of San Fran. Well, why didn't God just say that? Maybe I didn't give him space to talk while I was telling him my plan. After I got him laughing, maybe he decided to call again later. (see favorite joke below) I actually spend the next few weeks daily going person by person through my internal rolodex and finding a way to say goodbye. Sometimes I would turn to my husband, and tell him, I'm not sure this is going to work, I can not live without (insert name). Really, I love everyone so dearly. This was a private time of tears and mediation while I half-negotiated and half-surrendered. By May, we find a house down south and we find renters for our San Francisco place. Both items were given to us and couldn't be a better fit. Thank you universe for making the call. I am sorry for being stubborn and hard of hearing. I realize your plan may be even better than my half baked one I was actually attached to, that in retrospect seems like flying by the seat of my pants by comparison and we haven't even moved. Wow, listening to the universe has some perks. Who knew?

 Favorite joke: How do you make God laugh?
Tell him your plan